I'm quiet because I'm reserved, and not because I'm stupid or not fluent in a language. I often get the feeling I speak in a very academic/studied way that most people struggle to understand.
Since the age of 15 until I finished secondary school I've had English grammar shoved down my throat (unlike other teenage girls who would take cock with a cup of tea instead) and wrote essays on Shakespeare and Poe as light homework. The essays turned out to be completely useless in the long term, but were thoroughly analysed, judged and graded by people whose authority I resented at the time - and still do, except I no longer have to put up with it. In other words, my favourite reads, interests and opinion of the world go far beyond the newest issue of the Daily Mail.
I grew up learning new words like "obsequious", "contemptible" and "concupiscence". So forgive me for not feeling comfortable using "friendlier" language like "you alright me' luvvie?" and "what you done now me' darlin'?". And forgive me if I find it appalling when an English speaker can't spell the word "hygiene".
I will always be serious, reserved and formal until I get to know you because it's just the way I am. I can't talk about the bloody X-factor or join a group of women in a conversation about their lovely partners who used to help them shave their legs when they were pregnant.
This doesn't mean I am intolerant or hostile. I just can't relate to small talk. Or women. Or people. Sometimes I get quiet even during conversations I enjoy. That's my natural way of saying
I DON'T GIVE A MONKEY'S
or
MY RESPONSE TO THAT WOULD BE SO (tick as appropriate) COMPLICATED/STUPID/MEH/USELESS/OFFENSIVE I'M NOT EVEN SURE IT'S WORTH SHARING
I swear I wasn't made to be British. Or of any other culture/nationality whatsoever, as I can't seem to fit in no matter where I go.
Well, I'm starting my own country. With blackjack. And hookers.
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